Missed School

Teacher: " You missed school yesterday! "
Janet: " Not a bit, sir! "

Sick

Teacher: " Why weren't you at school yesterday?
Sean: " I was sick "
Teacher: " Sick of what? "
Sean: " Sick of school! "

Stopping a fight

Teacher: " Kevin, why are you late again? "
Kevin: " Oh sir, I stopped two boys fighting "
Teacher: " How did you manage that? "
Kevin: " I licked both of 'em! "

GERMany

Teacher: " Rosemary, what do we get from Germany? "
Rosemary: " Germs! "

Picking up music

Teacher: " Anyone here quick at picking up music? "
Terence and Tony: " I am sir! "
Teacher: " Right, you two. Move the piano! "

Climate

Teacher: " Mathew, what is the climate of New Zealand? "
Mathew: " Very Cold, sir "
Teacher: " Wrong
Mathew: " But sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen! "

Home

Teacher: " Smith, now that you've kindly consented to come to school, what would you like to do? "
Smith: " Go home "